


Christmas on a cracker

by Whiteblue5



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Christmas, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Number Five | The Boy Has Issues, Number Five | The Boy Needs A Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-27
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:13:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21979384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whiteblue5/pseuds/Whiteblue5
Summary: Five goes Christmas shopping. It doesn't go well.“Ben! Does it look less crooked like this…or this?”Ben was about to shout his verdict when a familiar blue flash next to the bar distracted them.“Ah, Five! How wonderful of you to grace us with your judgy presence. Does this look tastefully crook-." Klaus halted when he saw Five’s expression.
Relationships: Dave/Klaus Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy & Klaus Hargreeves
Comments: 20
Kudos: 513





	1. Chapter 1

V

Number Five was walking down a street full of people doing their Christmas shopping, hands buried deep into his pockets. He was a little on edge. He preferred to avoid crowded area’s like this and the slow walking couple in front of him was making his blood boil. He tried to take a calming breath, but his hands were curling into fists. It didn’t matter how unpleasant this was, he needed to buy a Christmas present.

It was Klaus’s idea to do something called ‘Secret Santa’, whatever that was, for their first Christmas back together. After some expected chaos, Five had ended up with a slip of paper with Diego’s name on it, so that’s how he found himself wandering the streets, glancing through the shop windows.

He was itching to buy something like a set of spoons, but he also kind of wanted Diego to like his gift. He was getting too damn soft.

Another part of him whispered to just leave his siblings to their foolish holiday shenanigans and get back to his work on time travel. It was what he usually did anyway, when Klaus or Vanya came knocking at his door, asking if he’d like to join them playing games or watching a movie. He just didn’t feel like he should be there.

He didn’t belong with his family, not really. They hadn’t seen the things he had seen. They hadn’t done the things he had done. And he wasn’t a fool, he knew he was rude and abrasive, lashing out when things got too close. He just wasn’t good at the whole _emotions and ‘being open with each other’_ -thing his family needed. They were probably better off without him. He just needed to be able to protect them. And the best way to keep them safe was to expand his time travel knowledge, so he could take his family back in time when another world-ending catastrophe presented itself.

He just wished his chest didn’t feel so hollow all the time.

Lost in thought, Five hadn’t really noticed where he was going, but he froze when he saw the familiar department store. Dolores’s store.

The desire to see her again flooded his veins. He shouldn’t though. He needed to grow up and let them lead their separate lives.

But would she receive a Christmas present? A gift bought with care instead of something he had found lying around in the dirt? She deserved something like that. Five felt a little stupid arguing with himself like this. Weak.

He was going to allow himself to see her, just this once, to give her a real present. This weakness was going to get him killed at some point. He wanted to give her something she could wear. Decorations or food were little to no use to her.

So he ducked into a store displaying fancy holiday clothes and looked for something she would like. His eye fell on a beautiful, black headband, decorated with flowers and sequins. Perfect.

When he went to pay for it with Reginald’s money, the cashier took one look at him and her eyes immediately softened, endeared. Five’s already cachectic patience was being severely tested this day.

"Aw, is this a Christmas present for your little girlfriend?" She asked.

“No, for her funeral.” Five said dryly.

The woman’s expression turned into horror and shame. Good.

Five dumped a couple of bills on the counter, turned around and left for the Gimbel brothers department store. 

He was getting quite nervous as he approached Dolores’s aisle. Would she be happy to see him? Or would she have moved on and was he just going to make things difficult? Would she like his gift?

Five’s quiet nerves turned into cold dread when Dolores’s stand came into view.

She wasn’t there.

 _She wasn’t there_.

His blood turned to ice and panic bloomed in his stomach.

A stony faced, modern-looking mannequin was standing in Dolores’s spot, staring down at him. The sound of the headband clattering on the floor was loud in his ears. To the left of him, a retail worker was folding clothes people had discarded indifferently.

Shoving his feelings down, he went to talk to the bored looking woman.

“Excuse me, miss.” His voice came out quite stable, thankfully. “Nine months ago, there was a mannequin here, who was missing an arm and her legs. Do you know what happened to her-it?” The woman looked at him like he was mad. Maybe he was.

“What?” she said, picking at her nose ring. Five was ready to ditch her, but then he saw realisation dawn on her face.

“Oh, yeah! I remember something like that! Olivia told a story some time ago about a weird kid dumping a mannequin, which looked like it had seen some rough times. Probably got damaged in some school brat prank, or something.” She shrugged. “But they brought it back, which counts for something, I guess… Yeah, we threw that piece of sadness in the trash.” 

Five felt something he thought he didn’t have any more, break and shatter. His eyes burned.

The retail worker looked at him in alarm. Five was angry with her. Five was angry with himself. He was a 59-year-old man close to crying, because a department store logically threw out a broken mannequin. He instantly felt horrible for thinking about Dolores like that. He felt one hot tear spill from his eyes and travel down his cheek.

He needed to get out of here. He needed to be alone. He yanked the space-time continuum apart and disappeared in the loneliness between it.

Five materialized in his room and locked the door immediately. He didn’t know how to stop the tears flowing out of his eyes. He didn’t know how to stop _feeling_.

He felt like he was feeling a lot of things at once, all tied together in a tight knot. Shame. Anger. Loss.

The angrier he became at himself for not being able to pull himself together, how harder it was to stop. He should have gone to the living room first. Behind the bar downstairs was the only way he knew how to deal with this _irrationality._

IV

Klaus was singing all the parts of an acapella Christmas song at the top of his lungs, while trying to hang a string of lights on the wall. He was balancing dangerously on a set of stacked chairs.

“Ben! Does it look less crooked like this…or this?”

Ben was about to shout his verdict when a familiar blue flash next to the bar distracted them.

“Ah, Five! How wonderful of you to grace us with your judgy presence. Does this look tastefully crook-." Klaus halted when he saw Five’s expression.

Five was wearing a dark green scarf, obscuring most of his face, but his eyes were glossy and looked absolutely devastated. Klaus had never seen Five like that. He had never seen him having an emotion besides anger at all. Five usually acted like he didn’t have them. And for the first 13 years of their lives Klaus had actually believed him.

But looking into green eyes fighting to hold back tears, it was hard to imagine ever thinking Five incapable of caring.

“Five? What’s wrong?” Klaus said, getting down and closer to his little brother.

Five seemed to be horrified to find out he was not alone.

“Nothing.” He gritted out, voice thick.

Five grabbed three bottles of hard liquor, which didn’t seem like nothing to Klaus. Klaus caught one of them, preventing Five to disappear to his bedroom.

“Let. Go.” Five said lowly.

Klaus held on for a few more seconds, but in a battle of wills he knew he wasn’t going to win from the guy who survived 45 years on stubbornness alone. But you know what they say, if you can’t beat them, join them.

Five jumped away as expected, presumably to his room. Klaus took two glasses and went after him. Ben looked sad about Klaus’s decision to go drinking, but didn’t say anything. Ben always had a soft spot for Five.

“Don’t worry Benny! I’ve been sober for months now. I’m not going to give up Dave for Daniels. A small glass to lift the spirits on Christmas isn’t gonna hurt anyone.”

Ben’s smile was still a little too sad for Klaus’s liking. He didn’t follow Klaus up the stairs.


	2. Chapter 2

IV

“Five, if you don’t open up, I will tell Vanya you didn’t like her Christmas cookies yesterday!” Klaus threatened, banging on Five’s door.

“She probably worked really hard on them!” No response.

Christ on a cracker, Five... Why was this family so bad at accepting or even recognizing help? Klaus did not exclude himself from that question, but at least most of them were trying to get better.

Luther was making little poems he let the rest of them read. Allison was allowed to see her daughter again and she and Luther regularly visited her in L.A.. Diego went to museums with mom and had wanted to learn an instrument, so Vanya was teaching him. They were all working with Vanya on how to control her powers and Klaus was getting better and better at making Ben corporeal. And he was able to see Dave, of course. But Five seemed to think being happy and healthy was beneath him, always holed up in his room working on some shit Klaus wouldn’t understand in his most boring dreams.

Klaus plucked a hair pin from his head and went to town on the door lock. The door unlocked from the other side immediately, as Klaus was hoping, and burst open, revealing a livid Five.

“What do you think you are doing?!” Five asked angrily.

Klaus just sauntered inside and put the two glasses on Five’s nightstand. He filled them with a modest amount of whisky, sat on Five’s bed and gestured for Five to come sit beside him. Five was still in de doorway, unable to believe Klaus’s audacity. Klaus held out one of the glasses to Five, who was looking like he thought Klaus was trying to trick him.

“Relax, Bruder Fünf, it’s almost Christmas. Just enjoy some schnapps with your brother, will ya?” Five had suspicion and distrust pouring out of him in waves.

“Come on, man. Please? Just humour your favourite brother.”

“You’re not my favourite brother.” Five muttered, but he accepted the drink and sat down beside Klaus, putting as much space between them as the bed would allow.

“Cheers!” Klaus said, while clinking his glass to Five’s.

This was probably a bad idea. Oh well, that had never stopped Klaus before and it wasn’t going to now. In for a penny, in for a pound. So Klaus started to narrate several of said past bad idea’s. He was trying to make Five look up from staring morosely at his drink and do something preposterous, like cracking a smile.

A couple of stories later, including the one where Klaus had dyed his leg hair green, Five seemed to relax somewhat, inserting a few snarky comments into the conversation, instead of just ignoring Klaus. _Progress_ , Klaus thought. Trying to get Five to talk about his feelings felt the same as trying to defuse a volatile bomb. And when precision work was necessary people usually didn’t call Klaus, but he was going to try, damn it.

Somehow Klaus had started to blabber about the trouble he and Dave got themselves into back in the day. He couldn’t stop the love from entering his voice when he recalled them stealing sweets from another soldier and hiding in some bushes to eat them.

Klaus hadn’t noticed Five was staring at him until Five looked away and said almost inaudibly “Dolores is gone.” Oh.

“They probably got rid of her immediately after I put her back.” His voice cracked on the last word and he stopped talking.

“Five...” Klaus started.

“God, I am so stupid!” Five yelled, turning to anger. He was holding his glass so tightly Klaus was afraid it was going to shatter, but he didn’t want to aggravate Five by trying to take it from him.

“Five, you’re allowed to feel sad. She was important to you. It’s only natural.” Klaus said softly. Five said nothing. He was staring pointedly out of the window. Klaus took the glass from his hands under the guise of refilling it.

“Everybody feels like shit once in a while, there’s no shame in feeling sad and getting a good cry. Yours is probably long overdue, with the decades of hell you went through. And you just lost the person who helped you through it…” Five didn’t seem touched by his speech. Klaus was feeling out of his dept here, but he soldiered on.

“But I know that you know what she was, what she is. She’s your love, Five. Your ability to love. I know you like to pretend you don’t have a heart, but I know you will find someone to love again, if you want to.” Five remained unimpressed.

“And I know that you love us, your family. And we love you.” At that last sentence, Five’s eyes went wide, as if the mere thought had never even entered his head.

“What?” he said bewildered. He looked at Klaus, shocked.

Klaus felt his heart break when tears welled up in Five’s eyes. Five immediately hid his face in his hands, apparently not wanting Klaus to see him vulnerable. Klaus had clearly hit home.

He was going to hug Five, even though that meant risking a pencil between the ribs. He wrapped his arms around his old little brother and held him close. Underneath his arms, Five was extremely tense, but didn’t fight him. The embrace was a little awkward with Five remaining as still as a statue, but Klaus was already happy Five was allowing Klaus to hug him. With the apocalypse averted, they had all the time in the world to practise.

Klaus wasn’t even sure if he had imagined the silently spoken “Really?”, but he answered anyway, because leaving that question open would be illegal. “Yes.” Klaus said, pouring as much conviction into his voice as he could, holding Five a little tighter.

They stayed like that for a minute until Five’s patience for affection had burned up and he started to wiggle. Klaus let him go. Five had his face schooled back into an almost perfect imitation of ‘fine’. Almost.

“You can leave now.” He said tightly. Klaus was unsure. He didn’t think leaving Five on his own with three bottles of alcohol would be a decision Ben would be proud of. Five saw Klaus looking and pressed the bottles into Klaus’s hands.

“I’m just going to sleep.” he mumbled.

“Okay, then.” Klaus stood up, still hesitant. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.” Five echoed.

When Klaus had reached the door Five said “Klaus?”

“Yeah, mon frère?”

That elicited an eye-roll. Then Five forced out an uneasy “Thanks for coming”.

Klaus felt a fond smile pull at his face. They were all a bunch of emotionally impeded idiots, but at least they had each other.

“Anytime, Five-0.” Klaus closed the door behind him, cooking up a plan to get Five out of his room tomorrow and into their family.

“Five! Five!” Klaus was hammering on Five’s door again, hoping he wouldn’t have a hangover. While they didn’t drink that much last night, Five still had a baby liver.

“Five, we need your help! Diego threw my favourite jacket on the old observatory! Can you get it for me?” A chagrined Five opened the door to stop Klaus from his enthusiastic knocking.

“Are you mentally deficient? Why would I do that?” He definitely looked worse for the wear, with black hair sticking up in all directions.

“Because Vanya is trying to help right now, but with her powers, you never know… She might knock the whole thing down. Although that is probably for the best with that ugly son of a building.” Five visibly blanched at the thought of Vanya knocking buildings down and Klaus mentally cringed at the turn his excuse had taken.

"Eh, yeah so… Will you help us?” Five didn’t answer, but went inside his room, presumably to change. He came back wearing the uniform Klaus and Allison couldn’t get him to ditch and a dark green scarf and hat.

“Fine.” Five said with a long-suffering sigh. He grabbed Klaus’s arm and teleported them to the roof. Even though Five had practiced side-jumping with them multiple times before now, that still didn’t mean that Klaus had to like it. On the contrary, he felt like his organs were rearranged and not happy at all with their newly assigned spot.

While he was catching his bearings and trying not to vomit, Diego, fortunately, hadn’t forgotten the script. A snowball hit Five straight in de face.

Five's cheeks were turning red, but from the cold or from anger Klaus didn’t know, but he assumed the latter.

“Who did that? I will make you see snow for the rest of your life.” Five threatened. While rubbing the snow from of his eyes, he took in the scene in front of him.

Diego, Vanya and Luther were standing in a circle around Five and Klaus, knees bend and snowballs at the ready. Allison was sitting on the bench nearby with mom, holding steaming cups in their hands. Ben was sitting on the greenhouse and a couple of ghosts were conversing quietly in the corner, but the rest of the family didn’t know that.

“Is your jacket even here?” Five asked through gritted teeth.

“Nope” said Klaus in a fit of recklessness. A second later a snowball hit him hard in his face. It wasn’t hard to guess who it came from. Five was smiling his creepy, psycho grin.

Feeling happy that his plan seemed to work, while also fearing for his life, Klaus went to hide behind Luther. He scooped up the general idea of a snowball and chucked it at Vanya, while using Luther as a human shield. All freezing hell broke loose.

Vanya was cheating by disintegrating snowballs before they hit her, Five was cheating by jumping out of their way and Diego was cheating by being Diego. Klaus cheered when he hit Diego on the nose, somehow making him stumble and land on his backside. But his joy was short lived, because at pretty much the same time Diego’s snowball sent Klaus flat on his ass.

Luther and Allison burst into laughing and Vanya snickered quietly. They heard a low chuckle which made everyone freeze. Klaus hadn’t heard that sound in over 18 years and even then, it had been quite rare.

Everyone turned to look at Five, flabbergasted. Five himself looked like he was caught stealing cookies.

Klaus made eye contact with Diego and knew immediately that they were thinking the same thing: Five was going to make that sound again. They promptly started to pelt each other with snow.

Just before Klaus caught a snowball to the eye, he noticed Ben sitting on the edge of the roof, smiling down on them. Klaus suddenly realised how much of a crime it was that Ben wasn’t here frolicking in the snow with them. He needed to fix that injustice immediately.

He had been practicing making his brother corporeal for months now. Time for all that blood, sweat, tears and no small amount of complaining to pay off. Klaus felt like his head was going to explode from the effort, but the look on all their faces when Ben appeared in their midst was more than worth it.

A moment of stunned silence passed before Diego said “Hey, man.”

“Ben.” Five whispered. It was not the first time Klaus had manifested Ben in front of his siblings, but it was still rare enough to be special. The air was filled with emotion, but being the emotionally stunted group of morons they were, no one said anything. So Klaus did the natural thing and threw a handful of snow in his ghostly brothers face.

“Klaus!” yelled Ben, betrayed. Ben scooped up some snow himself and threw them for a loop when he hurled it at Five. And like that, the tension was gone and the rooftop exploded again with snowy projectiles and laughter.

That evening, Klaus had somehow gotten all of them together in the living room, waiting for Allison to start the Christmas movie marathon. Since Klaus had learned that watching movies was a Christmas tradition, he insisted they held one. It was important for their cultural education after all.

Most of them were wearing ugly Christmas sweaters and Klaus couldn’t be more proud. Only Five still had his Academy sweater vest on, the stubborn bastard. But Klaus would knit him one himself next year. He couldn’t refuse that. Klaus was a festive genius.

He was sitting on the couch with Ben to his left, who was doomed to sit next to Klaus for the whole holiday, simply because of the fact that they were sharing a sweater. Sandwiched between Klaus and Diego sat Five, who looked like he needed ten espressos to deal with this. Vanya and Allison were sitting on the ground in front of the couch and Luther had a chair for himself. Vanya seemed a little lost, like she still didn’t know whether they wanted her to be there.

“Hey, Van! Pass me the marshmallows, please?” Klaus asked, patting her shoulder. He received the sweets, accompanied by a small smile. Allison got the television working and letters spelling ‘It’s a wonderful life’ appeared across the screen. Klaus popped a marshmallow into his mouth and settled in between his brothers, feeling content.

V

Five woke up, feeling disoriented, but strangely comfortable. His head was pillowed on something soft, but firm and there was something warm on his chest. He couldn’t remember having a night before without his memories haunting him. Not that he slept very much in general. So this had not been an unwelcome change. 

Even though he did not really want to, Five opened his eyes.

Klaus was laying across his chest, hugging him with one arm. Five himself was slouched against Diego, head resting against Diego's biceps.

Five felt waves of horror and embarrassment flood his veins and he was about to jump to his room, when he noticed that they were all asleep.

Allison and Vanya were curled up on the floor with their backs against each other. Luther was also on the ground, leaning against Diego’s legs. Klaus had his face pressed into Five’s chest and Diego was snoring silently to his right.

Five felt a warmth bloom in his stomach at the sight of them. Five was pretty sure Ben was still around was well. He hoped Ben hadn’t noticed that he was awake, or at least wouldn’t tell Klaus, as he moved his arm around Klaus’s shoulders, holding him close to his chest in return. Five would later blame the unconsciousness of sleep.

The edges of the hole persistently present in his chest felt less jagged than they usually did and more rounded, soft. Like new tissue in a healing wound. It was still there and it would not be gone soon. Healing takes time. But time he had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by the photo of the cast in Christmas sweaters. 
> 
> I put something from my favorite scene from Misfits in there, because it popped into my head and I could not not use it. 
> 
> Please let me know what you think! (:

**Author's Note:**

> First time posting here, so please let me know what you think! (:


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